It's hard to describe why this is so hard. It's 3.5 hours of yoga 6 days a week, but most of that is not cardio, especially the hatha is sometimes even numbingly slow. We sit on the floor almost all the time, it is humid and hot and even though I shower at least three times a day it is hard not to almost always feel covered with a flimsy film of sweat, dust, and humidity.
I barely gain strength and frequently overeat on "healthy" cookies, which annoys me but it's hard to@ deal again with the stress of tests, assignments, teachings.
Emotionally, this is hardcore work for everyone, hope open or closed.
I'm just going to tell you about those I really like here. There is Ayurveda-Andrea, the Scot Nicole who I shared the taxi with from Delhi, she just quit her job as a primary school teacher.
Mercifully Renée, an admirable and hilarious Australian lady gets my dry humour. She will go do the Nepal/Himalaya base camp after this and looks rocking being at least 40. I chat often to Kristen (U.S.) who just spent two Years with the peacecorps in Ghana and is a born yoga teacher. Finally there is also Vivian, Korean-American who is made of rubber, looks like a magazine beauty, came late and, probably because she is so beautiful, is very unassuming and quite goofy.
The Germans are an odd bunch who.might merit their own post..
I thought more about the reiki woman and my own" visions" when she massaged me. I thought at first it was the stuff she would tell me - right when she started at my head, I had an image of myself about to be burnt as a witch, having been betrayed, somebody pulling my hair strongly and I was offering no defense, completely depleted.
I think that might have been my subconsciousness offering me images for this persistent notion I have of myself: that I am somehow toxic for people, I bring them down, I am negative, and the resolve is not to get too close, especially not to people I care about, to protect them from myself, and generally to be guarded in social settings. It makes me so sad to realise that this is what I am doing; I don't know where that idea came from, I only know it is very old.
Yesterday a group of us burnt intentions for/to the new moon/the universe, and we said what we were thankful for, sitting on the roof of our hotel. It was Amy's idea (another one I like a lot, a doctor from Australia). I wish I'd had this in my early twenties (most of them seem to be around 23). The girls do give each other so much love, and they are never excluding.
Yet I feel separate from it. Maybe it's what that reiki lady meant when she said that I don't trust the universe. I forgot to say that I was actually very relieved that she did NOT say omg your toxic energy is hurting my crystals, away with you..
I barely gain strength and frequently overeat on "healthy" cookies, which annoys me but it's hard to@ deal again with the stress of tests, assignments, teachings.
Emotionally, this is hardcore work for everyone, hope open or closed.
I'm just going to tell you about those I really like here. There is Ayurveda-Andrea, the Scot Nicole who I shared the taxi with from Delhi, she just quit her job as a primary school teacher.
Mercifully Renée, an admirable and hilarious Australian lady gets my dry humour. She will go do the Nepal/Himalaya base camp after this and looks rocking being at least 40. I chat often to Kristen (U.S.) who just spent two Years with the peacecorps in Ghana and is a born yoga teacher. Finally there is also Vivian, Korean-American who is made of rubber, looks like a magazine beauty, came late and, probably because she is so beautiful, is very unassuming and quite goofy.
The Germans are an odd bunch who.might merit their own post..
I thought more about the reiki woman and my own" visions" when she massaged me. I thought at first it was the stuff she would tell me - right when she started at my head, I had an image of myself about to be burnt as a witch, having been betrayed, somebody pulling my hair strongly and I was offering no defense, completely depleted.
I think that might have been my subconsciousness offering me images for this persistent notion I have of myself: that I am somehow toxic for people, I bring them down, I am negative, and the resolve is not to get too close, especially not to people I care about, to protect them from myself, and generally to be guarded in social settings. It makes me so sad to realise that this is what I am doing; I don't know where that idea came from, I only know it is very old.
Yesterday a group of us burnt intentions for/to the new moon/the universe, and we said what we were thankful for, sitting on the roof of our hotel. It was Amy's idea (another one I like a lot, a doctor from Australia). I wish I'd had this in my early twenties (most of them seem to be around 23). The girls do give each other so much love, and they are never excluding.
Yet I feel separate from it. Maybe it's what that reiki lady meant when she said that I don't trust the universe. I forgot to say that I was actually very relieved that she did NOT say omg your toxic energy is hurting my crystals, away with you..
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